I admit it. I'm rootin' 110% for Good ole' "Charlie the K" Krauthhammer in the intra-Republican debate. He's my man. He ain't having none of this silly "reassessment" malarkey.
In his Washington post column today, Charles Krauthhammer comes out swinging at the Nervous Nellies in the GOP:
[Republicans] lose and immediately the chorus begins. Republicans must change or die. A rump party of white America, it must adapt to evolving demographics or forever be the minority...
Fiddlesticks, says the big K:
The country doesn't need two liberal parties. Yes, Republicans need to weed out candidates who talk like morons about rape. But this doesn't mean the country needs two pro-choice parties either. In fact, more women are pro-life than are pro-choice. The problem here for Republicans is not policy but delicacy -- speaking about culturally sensitive and philosophically complex issues with reflection and prudence.
Right on, Charlie baby. You rule, dude. You go on telling the GOP that they should hang in there and stick with all their extreme and unpopular positions -- that they just need to learn how to mumble a little bit more when they get to the naughty bits. After all, you conservative guys know much better than us liberals about how it is that them thar little women really don't really want to worry their pretty little heads much about "philosophically complex issues" like "no exceptions for rape" - stuff that men understand much better than they do anyway. Republicans just need a couple of etiquette lessons to learn how to stop sounding like they're a bunch of drunk aluminum siding salesmen swapping locker room jokes while they try to grope the waitresses in a third-rate topless bar.
(Now it is true that on the particular issue of appealing to Latinos Charlie the K actually does recommend a full scale, if clinically delusional, pander - a surreal Hunter Thompson-on-acid policy mix of total amnesty, napalm strikes and land mines on the Mexican border and Marco Rubio giving misty-eyed orations about the American dream. But never mind about that. Otherwise he's absolutely implacable. No compromise, no surrender.)
Here he goes:
...The doomsayers warn, Republicans must change not just ethnically but ideologically. Back to the center. Moderation above all!
More nonsense. Tuesday's exit polls showed that by an eight-point margin (51-43), Americans believe that government does too much. And Republicans are the party of smaller government. Moreover, onrushing economic exigencies -- crushing debt, unsustainable entitlements -- will make the argument for smaller government increasingly unassailable.
So, why give it up? Republicans lost the election not because they advanced a bad argument but because they advanced a good argument not well enough. Romney ran a solid campaign, but he is by nature a Northeastern moderate. He sincerely adopted the new conservatism but still spoke it as a second language..... Romney is a good man who made the best argument he could, and nearly won. He would have made a superb chief executive, but he (like the Clinton machine) could not match Barack Obama in the darker arts of public persuasion.
Yes. Yes. Finally. Someone with the guts to stand up and tell the truth about the role of the dark arts in Obama's campaign -- that the real reason Obama won was because he was trained in secret Jedi techniques of mass hypnotism by Indonesian/Kenyan witch doctors or something like that. I mean jeeze, didn't anyone else notice the "these are not the droids you're looking for" hand gestures Obama was making at the camera during the second debate?
Here's the Big K's finale:
The answer to Romney's failure is not retreat, not aping the Democrats' patchwork pandering. It is to make the case for restrained, rationalized and reformed government in stark contradistinction to Obama's increasingly unsustainable big-spending, big-government paternalism.
Republicans: No whimpering. No whining. No reinvention when none is needed. Do conservatism but do it better. There's a whole generation of leaders ready to do just that
Damn, what a refreshing breath of fresh air. Just when I was starting to worry that Republicans might actually learn from their mistakes and present a more formidable challenge next time, The big K rolls into town to reassure me that there are plenty of people in the Republican coalition who will keep them firmly on the path to sustained electoral failure.
You hang in there, Big K man, you keep right on trucking. Trust me, bro', I got your back.